Moms are blatant child-braggers. From the first smile, all the way until... well I don't think it ever stops, actually, ... we brag about our kids, and for good reason, too. Unconditional love, which is evolutionarily contradictory, gives us the ability to think our own offspring are the best, and all other children are somehow inferior. In short, we all think our kids rock, even if they don't. :-)
Those of you who have met my two girls will probably agree with me that they're amazing kids. They've endured hardship through no fault of their own, and are both honors students, well-behaved, and make good choices for the right reasons. My friends, family members, and their teachers all agree with that assessment, too, so it's not me looking at my girls with my Mom Glasses in place.
Last week, my younger daughter was at her best friend's for a sleepover. The next day, she sent me a text message, asking me to make an excuse for her to come home.
[We interrupt this blog for a side note. When my kids were in elementary school, I told them if they were in a peer pressure situation, to use me as the reason they wouldn't participate. It gives them an out while still socially saving face, and allows for distance to evaluate the situation and friendship at a later time. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog, already in progress.]
I kind of laughed, because it's an odd request to get from a 13-year-old. So I texted back, "Ok, um, come home to clean your room." This wasn't much of a reach. Her room is perpetually resembling what a clothing factory would look like post-apocalypse. So, long story short, she used me as an excuse to go home. I later asked her what the deal was, should I be concerned? She said everything was fine, no one was doing anything harmful or inappropriate, just going in a direction with language and video viewing that she didn't want to go. I was pretty proud of my daughter at that point for sticking to her personal principles and politely excusing herself from a situation she didn't think she should be in. And if the mother of the friend is reading this, don't worry, it wasn't anything BAD. Just not in her desired range of activities. I would tell you otherwise.
The other day, older daughter and I were riding back from her dance lesson. This child is a senior in high school, and as such has to complete a Senior Project in order to graduate. Leading into this summer, she had discussed working with an architect to design and build a scale model of a home for an actual client - a really ambitious undertaking. So, when she suddenly declared she wanted to learn ballroom dancing I was a little shocked. (And, truth be told, relieved, because ballroom dancing is much more manageable given this child's 12309487 other pursuits.) Many people, including me at first, challenged her because the architecture project would help as she pursues a career in architecture. She stuck to her guns, and enrolled in dance lessons. 45 minutes away. Did I mention she doesn't drive yet? :-) At any rate, her persistence paid off, and the other day she told me how much fun she is having, and how glad she is that she chose this project. She is the youngest member of her class but she doesn't let that stop her. The younger adults (I'd say in their 20s) enjoy her youthful energy, and one asked me if she was going to continue after her project was complete. Swim season and other priorities might prevent this for awhile, but rest assured my child will be back in classes as soon as she can, because she enjoys it so much. Everyone needs an outlet for energy, and this might be her lifelong avocation. Cool.
Both my girls are rather, well, STUBBORN. I have no idea from whose side of the family they get that. :-) In these two cases, their persistence has proven to be an asset rather than a liability. As girls, one of the best lessons they can learn is to trust their inner voice, not doubt themselves, and assert themselves. Looks to me like they're well on their way to becoming independent, assertive women, and this mama couldn't be more proud.
So tell me, what's your proudest (at least right now) parenting moment? Go ahead and brag. We all love to read stories about how our kids are doing great things.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
This will probably offend everyone.
The rules of etiquette dictate that one not discuss religion or politics in social situations. Lately, many, many people, myself included, have been discussing one or both of these on social networking sites. So, here goes:
First, a disclaimer: My opinions are my own, and do not reflect the official position of my employer, my family, my city government, or the milk man. They are my own opinions, and, as an American, I am allowed to express them.
I find it really unfortunate that there has been such a serious division within American society. I have already grown tired of all the political bickering, infighting, accusing, and otherwise wasting time when there are really important things to do, like improve education, reduce the Federal deficit, bolster our science and space exploration funding, provide reasonable health care without putting additional burdens on society, and eating chocolate.
The amazing thing is that the ignition wasn't caused by a true injustice; rather, one person, one man, who happens to be the CEO of a major restaurant chain, expressed his opinion and the policy by which his company supports charities. No one was harmed, no one was discriminated against, and no one was publicly mocked. I don't recall this man ever saying he thought gay people are evil and going to hell, and it would have shocked me if he had.
Instead, in our "If you're not for me you're against me" society, this man's opinion about how he thinks things should be became the catalyst for neighbor to rise against neighbor, and friend against friend, all in the name of civil rights and free speech.
The Bill of Rights grants us the right to express our opinions without the government telling us what we can or cannot say legally. That doesn't mean we should just say what we think. It also doesn't mean that we should take one person's opinion personally, nor should we take a person's opinion to an extreme. However, in politics as well as in society, that's exactly what we have done. So, here are my views on politics:
I have news for the Republicans: This country isn't yours to take back. It's ours, to use, and care for, and run efficiently. If you're so interested in reducing Federal spending, start with your office budget. Refuse your pension if you are a multi-gazillionaire (as most of you are). To whom much is given much is also expected, and this country has been richly blessed. It is our responsibility, as HUMAN BEINGS, to take care of others. It is our responsibility to make sure that the beauty of this country is well-cared-for in a reasonable manner. It is our responsibility to actually pay teachers, fire fighters, police officers, and soldiers what they're worth, not what you can squeeze out for them. Do you value public safety, public education, and the defense of this nation? Put your money where your mouth is. Stop telling teachers they don't know how to teach. Just because you went to school, does NOT mean you know how teaching works. Using THAT logic, I should know how to design a bridge because I've driven over many, many bridges. What a pile-o-poop. Unions did not destroy this country, they helped keep oppression from getting out of hand. Just because you can afford to do something doesn't mean you should. Being able to earn money does not solve the problems we're facing as a country. Sometimes, doing the right thing is more important than building your portfolio.
I have news for the Democrats: Nobody owes you anything. You don't DESERVE anything but respect and fairness. You want a nice house? You have to earn it. You want an education? Yep, you have to earn that, too. If someone has earned a lot of money, that's his or her PRIVILEGE. Stop being jealous of what you don't have, get off your fat fanny, and go pursue what you want. Quit blaming everyone else for your problems. Quit heaping society's ills on the rich. If lazy people weren't lazy, they would be wealthier. And stop reading into what I'm saying. All I'm saying is, it's nobody's job to take care of you but your own. My responsibility is first to my God, then to my family. I have to see to their needs ahead of a stranger's. That's how it's supposed to be. Stop defending the indefensible. A woman who has had 4 babies, with 4 different fathers, who doesn't have the means to care for those babies, should be legally prohibited from getting knocked up. It just makes sense. Soldiers are not evil. Guns are not the problem. Legalizing marijuana won't solve the drug problem, it will just exacerbate it. Unions are not the panacea we all thought they would be, and you know it. Workers and corporations are not on opposite sides of a war, they're two important parts to keeping this country rolling. And, if times are tough, everyone is going to have to give up something. We can't spend money we don't have without penalizing our children. We can't heap stupid, ill-thought regulations on businesses, be they large or small, and expect those businesses to stick around. DUH, they're going to go where it's easier to do business. BE REASONABLE.
Come on, have we really lost touch with what is important? When I was a little girl, I was taught that one's faith was most important, followed by one's family, and then serving others. The last thing on the priority list was supposed to be serving oneself.
Why have my fellow Christians become so divisive, and angry? I don't remember Jesus being this way. Christ brought healing, not hate. He brought love, not malice. And when he did get angry, it was because people were acting out of turn, taking advantage of others, and using His house to their gain. In other words, when Jesus got ticked, He had a really good reason. And here's some news that will surprise a lot of people: Jesus respected the Roman government. He didn't walk up to sinners, sticking His finger in their faces, telling them they're evil and deserve destruction. Even if it was true. Jesus loved the unlovely. He didn't advocate treating someone poorly because that person is a sinner.
So, if I follow His example, I am to be loving toward everyone, even those who are behaving in a way I don't agree is right; I am to find gentle words to respond to disharmony, not escalate the situation; I am to be angered by true injustice, and harmful behavior, not because someone thinks differently than me.
I am to respect the government. The whole government. Even *gulp* Tony Bennett, State Superintendent of Schools for the State of Indiana. Oh geez, that's a hard pill to swallow. But it's true. I don't agree with the man, but crikey I'm supposed to respect him.
I am to respond to my friends with gentle words, not escalate the situation. Yeah I've screwed that up the last couple of days. And, unfortunately, it probably won't be the last time, either, because I'm a jerk. And so are you. :-)
I am to love my neighbor as myself. And, on those days that I don't like myself, more than I love myself. For me, personally, this isn't hard to do. I love people. I don't always act lovingly, but I love people. I want people to know my God because I act a little bit like Him a little bit of the time.
I have a list of things I believe are wrong. I'm not going to list them here. It's not for me to walk up to a person and attempt to flick a speck out of his eye when I have a tree branch protruding from my own. I'll be qualified to judge you when I'm perfect, and not a day before. I will continue to get angry when people hurt others, or act in an immature, irresponsible manner. I think that's justified. But rest assured, I won't tell you that I think you're going straight to hell because you don't like hockey. [Disclaimer: This is an example of hyperbole. If you had paid attention in English class you would understand this. I do NOT think people who don't like hockey are evil. A lot of people died in a lot of wars so you can be wrong about the value of the sport, and I respect your right to be wrong.]
I love you, whoever you are. God has an amazingly wonderful, fantastic plan for your life, and if I'm privileged enough to help you discover it, how much more amazingly wonderful would that be? If you want to know what I think I know, ask me privately.
God is real. He is a living, thinking, caring Being. He loves you. He loves me. And He is perfect. Not in the "what a perfect morning" kind of perfect; the absolute, all-encompassing, not-even-a-scratch kind of perfect, and He expects perfection near Him. Jesus sacrificed his own perfection to intercede for us, and the very simple but difficult thing to do is to just accept that, and try to live the way Jesus lived. Please, don't tell me about the Crusades. Don't tell me about all the other objections you might have to Christianity. My only answer to all the screw-ups who have gone before me is that they're not perfect, just like I'm not perfect. Like C.S. Lewis, you either accept it or you don't.
And, if we choose to act poorly, whether we believe in God or not, we're going to face the consequences of those choices. A drug user is going to eventually lose everything. It's pretty much an established fact. A liar will lose his friends, and maybe his job. A thief won't be welcome anywhere. Drive over the speed limit? Yup, you're likely to get a ticket at some point. Live a lifestyle that isn't in keeping with good choices, and you're going to face the consequences. When I lose my temper, the consequence is that people avoid making me angry, and keep me "out of the loop." When I overeat, I gain weight and risk my health. I could go on and on and on but the point is I don't need to tell sinners they suck. The consequences of the bad choice will do it for me. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will catch up, just like it catches up with me.
A saying that's been around for a long time goes something like this: God grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'd like to expand on that. God grant me the courage to stand up for what is truly right, the serenity to accept when I should stay seated, and the wisdom to know the difference.
This is my religious, political, how-I-really-think blog
First, a disclaimer: My opinions are my own, and do not reflect the official position of my employer, my family, my city government, or the milk man. They are my own opinions, and, as an American, I am allowed to express them.
I find it really unfortunate that there has been such a serious division within American society. I have already grown tired of all the political bickering, infighting, accusing, and otherwise wasting time when there are really important things to do, like improve education, reduce the Federal deficit, bolster our science and space exploration funding, provide reasonable health care without putting additional burdens on society, and eating chocolate.
The amazing thing is that the ignition wasn't caused by a true injustice; rather, one person, one man, who happens to be the CEO of a major restaurant chain, expressed his opinion and the policy by which his company supports charities. No one was harmed, no one was discriminated against, and no one was publicly mocked. I don't recall this man ever saying he thought gay people are evil and going to hell, and it would have shocked me if he had.
Instead, in our "If you're not for me you're against me" society, this man's opinion about how he thinks things should be became the catalyst for neighbor to rise against neighbor, and friend against friend, all in the name of civil rights and free speech.
The Bill of Rights grants us the right to express our opinions without the government telling us what we can or cannot say legally. That doesn't mean we should just say what we think. It also doesn't mean that we should take one person's opinion personally, nor should we take a person's opinion to an extreme. However, in politics as well as in society, that's exactly what we have done. So, here are my views on politics:
I have news for the Republicans: This country isn't yours to take back. It's ours, to use, and care for, and run efficiently. If you're so interested in reducing Federal spending, start with your office budget. Refuse your pension if you are a multi-gazillionaire (as most of you are). To whom much is given much is also expected, and this country has been richly blessed. It is our responsibility, as HUMAN BEINGS, to take care of others. It is our responsibility to make sure that the beauty of this country is well-cared-for in a reasonable manner. It is our responsibility to actually pay teachers, fire fighters, police officers, and soldiers what they're worth, not what you can squeeze out for them. Do you value public safety, public education, and the defense of this nation? Put your money where your mouth is. Stop telling teachers they don't know how to teach. Just because you went to school, does NOT mean you know how teaching works. Using THAT logic, I should know how to design a bridge because I've driven over many, many bridges. What a pile-o-poop. Unions did not destroy this country, they helped keep oppression from getting out of hand. Just because you can afford to do something doesn't mean you should. Being able to earn money does not solve the problems we're facing as a country. Sometimes, doing the right thing is more important than building your portfolio.
I have news for the Democrats: Nobody owes you anything. You don't DESERVE anything but respect and fairness. You want a nice house? You have to earn it. You want an education? Yep, you have to earn that, too. If someone has earned a lot of money, that's his or her PRIVILEGE. Stop being jealous of what you don't have, get off your fat fanny, and go pursue what you want. Quit blaming everyone else for your problems. Quit heaping society's ills on the rich. If lazy people weren't lazy, they would be wealthier. And stop reading into what I'm saying. All I'm saying is, it's nobody's job to take care of you but your own. My responsibility is first to my God, then to my family. I have to see to their needs ahead of a stranger's. That's how it's supposed to be. Stop defending the indefensible. A woman who has had 4 babies, with 4 different fathers, who doesn't have the means to care for those babies, should be legally prohibited from getting knocked up. It just makes sense. Soldiers are not evil. Guns are not the problem. Legalizing marijuana won't solve the drug problem, it will just exacerbate it. Unions are not the panacea we all thought they would be, and you know it. Workers and corporations are not on opposite sides of a war, they're two important parts to keeping this country rolling. And, if times are tough, everyone is going to have to give up something. We can't spend money we don't have without penalizing our children. We can't heap stupid, ill-thought regulations on businesses, be they large or small, and expect those businesses to stick around. DUH, they're going to go where it's easier to do business. BE REASONABLE.
Come on, have we really lost touch with what is important? When I was a little girl, I was taught that one's faith was most important, followed by one's family, and then serving others. The last thing on the priority list was supposed to be serving oneself.
Why have my fellow Christians become so divisive, and angry? I don't remember Jesus being this way. Christ brought healing, not hate. He brought love, not malice. And when he did get angry, it was because people were acting out of turn, taking advantage of others, and using His house to their gain. In other words, when Jesus got ticked, He had a really good reason. And here's some news that will surprise a lot of people: Jesus respected the Roman government. He didn't walk up to sinners, sticking His finger in their faces, telling them they're evil and deserve destruction. Even if it was true. Jesus loved the unlovely. He didn't advocate treating someone poorly because that person is a sinner.
So, if I follow His example, I am to be loving toward everyone, even those who are behaving in a way I don't agree is right; I am to find gentle words to respond to disharmony, not escalate the situation; I am to be angered by true injustice, and harmful behavior, not because someone thinks differently than me.
I am to respect the government. The whole government. Even *gulp* Tony Bennett, State Superintendent of Schools for the State of Indiana. Oh geez, that's a hard pill to swallow. But it's true. I don't agree with the man, but crikey I'm supposed to respect him.
I am to respond to my friends with gentle words, not escalate the situation. Yeah I've screwed that up the last couple of days. And, unfortunately, it probably won't be the last time, either, because I'm a jerk. And so are you. :-)
I am to love my neighbor as myself. And, on those days that I don't like myself, more than I love myself. For me, personally, this isn't hard to do. I love people. I don't always act lovingly, but I love people. I want people to know my God because I act a little bit like Him a little bit of the time.
I have a list of things I believe are wrong. I'm not going to list them here. It's not for me to walk up to a person and attempt to flick a speck out of his eye when I have a tree branch protruding from my own. I'll be qualified to judge you when I'm perfect, and not a day before. I will continue to get angry when people hurt others, or act in an immature, irresponsible manner. I think that's justified. But rest assured, I won't tell you that I think you're going straight to hell because you don't like hockey. [Disclaimer: This is an example of hyperbole. If you had paid attention in English class you would understand this. I do NOT think people who don't like hockey are evil. A lot of people died in a lot of wars so you can be wrong about the value of the sport, and I respect your right to be wrong.]
I love you, whoever you are. God has an amazingly wonderful, fantastic plan for your life, and if I'm privileged enough to help you discover it, how much more amazingly wonderful would that be? If you want to know what I think I know, ask me privately.
God is real. He is a living, thinking, caring Being. He loves you. He loves me. And He is perfect. Not in the "what a perfect morning" kind of perfect; the absolute, all-encompassing, not-even-a-scratch kind of perfect, and He expects perfection near Him. Jesus sacrificed his own perfection to intercede for us, and the very simple but difficult thing to do is to just accept that, and try to live the way Jesus lived. Please, don't tell me about the Crusades. Don't tell me about all the other objections you might have to Christianity. My only answer to all the screw-ups who have gone before me is that they're not perfect, just like I'm not perfect. Like C.S. Lewis, you either accept it or you don't.
And, if we choose to act poorly, whether we believe in God or not, we're going to face the consequences of those choices. A drug user is going to eventually lose everything. It's pretty much an established fact. A liar will lose his friends, and maybe his job. A thief won't be welcome anywhere. Drive over the speed limit? Yup, you're likely to get a ticket at some point. Live a lifestyle that isn't in keeping with good choices, and you're going to face the consequences. When I lose my temper, the consequence is that people avoid making me angry, and keep me "out of the loop." When I overeat, I gain weight and risk my health. I could go on and on and on but the point is I don't need to tell sinners they suck. The consequences of the bad choice will do it for me. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will catch up, just like it catches up with me.
A saying that's been around for a long time goes something like this: God grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'd like to expand on that. God grant me the courage to stand up for what is truly right, the serenity to accept when I should stay seated, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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